Badass Literary Treatise

Anthem for BANG!

For all you BANG! lovers out there, do check out Bob Marley's Reggae triade against racist cops.

If you really wanna grab a listen, then I only have one word: Limewire.

I shot the sheriff, but I didn't shoot no deputy
Oh, no, oh
I shot the sheriff, but I didn't shoot no deputy
Ooh, ooh, ooh Yeah

All around in my hometown
They're tryin' to track me down, yeah
They say they want to bring me in guilty
For the killing of a deputy, for the life of a deputy
But I say, oh, now, now...

Oh, I shot the sheriff, but I swear it was in self defense
Ooh, ooh, ooh
I said, I shot the sheriff, Oh Lord
And they say it is a capital offense
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Hear this

Sheriff John Brown always hated me
For what I don't know
Ev'ry time I plant a seed
He said, "Kill it before it grows."
He said, "Kill them before they grow."

And so, oh, now, now,
Read it in the news

I shot the sheriff, but I swear it was in self defense
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Where was the deputy?
I said I shot the sheriff but I swear it was in self defense

Freedom came my way one day
And I started out of town, yeah!
All of a sudden I saw Sheriff John Brown
Aiming to shoot me down
So I shot, I shot, I shot him down
And I say, if I am guilty I will pay

I shot the sheriff, but I say, but I didn't shoot no deputy
Ooh, no, oh
I shot the sheriff, but I didn't shoot no deputy
Ooo, ooo, ooh

Reflexes had the better of me
And what is to be must be
Ev'ry day the bucket a-go-a well
One day the bottom a-go drop out
One day the bottom a-go drop out
I say, I, I, ...

I, I shot the sheriff, but I didn't shoot the deputy, no
(Repeat)

ARPC's Board Game Cafe (just no cafe)

Those who have gotten within ear shot of me in the last couple of weeks will probably have heard the words , 'SETTLERS' 'BANG' 'CITADEL' about as much as they hear 'GOSPEL' 'CHRIST' 'PREDESTINATION' if they attend ARPC regularly.

Consumed with near evangelistic zeal, we have become the nightmare of game cafes around Singapore by offering free, unlimted play hours, no corkage on BYOs and great game-mastering. The only amenities lacking are unwashed sofas that have cushioned the butts of about 1000 other people.( and you pray that they all remembered to wear panties)

No longer the realm of nerds clutching game manuals thicker than my skull, interactive board games that go beyond dice throwing and counter moving have been the rage for folks with great social skills but poor FRAG ability. Those who possess the reverse hang out at dimly lit ghettos, picking acne and noses inbetween mouse clicks with little opportunity for social interaction apart from the '&%*$ you! You stole my FRAG/ +4 toothpick/ 2000 polygonal drone worker'.

Having said all that, I must confess that I meet up with a group of friends regularly to prove our alpha maleness through proxy armies of Space Marines and Orks. The real purpose is not in trashing each other's armies, but to check out each other's [PC] hardware. We figured that this was infinitely preferable to guzzingly beer and sticking our asses out the windows of a Mitshubishi Colt at the confused souls in Changi village.

In any case, for those who have never tried a game session with us, I would urge that you not wait for an invite and just email or call me.

Settlers of Catan

3-6 player vie for control on an island by collecting and trading resources to build up their settlements. Plan your settlement and start accumulating the resources you need. Beware the robber and be prepared for lively trading.Game designed for ages 10 and up so I don't figure anyone saying that they are too dumb to play.

Bang (aka I Shot The Sherrif)

3-8 players in High Noon showdown. Outlaws and Lawmen play Bang! Cards to shoot each other. Drink Beer to replace hit points and hop on horses to stay out of the reach of firearms. All manner of event cards to cause even more mayhem. Think Murderer, but with great variations. Patience required to figure out the game rules such as shooting distance but not impossible to master for anyone above the age of 12.

Citadel

2-8 players vie to build their township. Every turn they take on unique roles such as the assassin, the architect or warlord, each with special abilities. Accumulate gold to build or destroy opponent's town. Pay attention to special buildings that will give you the winning ledge. Game rules are pretty straight forward, but beware provoking the envy of other players by building too quickly. Again, high intelligence is not a pre-requisite.

Take Five

2-6 players takes turn to play cards from their hands. Place the cards in columns of 5 to collect points. Beware about completing columns with negative points. Gameplay is simple, but strategy is complex when you have to consider how your opponents are going to play their cards. Likely to be the shortest game.

Karang Guni Confessions

After 2 months of cajoling, litres of pespiration and petroleum and one near hernia later, I am posting the results of my little project to raise funds for ARPC. Much thanks to those who have contributed generously to the project.

Title	Winning Bid	Winner	Date Closed
Steal a Pentium 4 (2.4Ghz) 512 DDR RAM	399.00 SGD	nsxt99	03/20/06
Sony T615c from $55	77.50 SGD	kahhwee_ljh	02/28/06
2nd hand Nokia 6610 from $54	90.00 SGD	kahhwee_ljh	02/24/06
21 Flatscreen TV. Not LCD or Plasma	140.00 SGD	sg_cwang	02/09/06
17 CRT Monitor for $17.00	35.00 SGD	clive_clussler	02/07/06
$150 for IBM T22 Thinkpad	310.00 SGD	lawlow777	02/03/06
110GB HDDs for $40.00	93.50 SGD	rogrin93sg	01/30/06

Total raised so far - $1145.00

If anybody else has stuff that they don't really use, and wish to contribute it. This is ARPC's very own cash-converter, except that you don't get to keep the cash. *grin*

Appealing to those who just got their spanking new plasma or LCD TV - Care to donate your old CRT? Let me know!

Weights

I stood on the electronic scales. Red lines formed into a quantifiable measure of my adherence to Newtonian physics. The number 70 stared indignantly back at me. Cowled, I stepped off as the red lines impatiently rearranged themselves into a dash.

Idealist hold that there is nothing real apart from what we can percieve with our mind. Science says that there is nothing real beyond what we can measurably percieve with our senses. One school triumphs thought, the other celebrates matter.

Applying it to my situation, I cannot feel the 70 kilos that make up my body. The only time it seems 'real' to me is when I see it as a number on the scales or when I do pull ups. If someone carried me, it would be plenty real to him, but not to me.

What is very real to me, however, is the sensation that my heart feels heavier than a lead anvil. Well, at least the weight seems to come from that general area. Grief and Sadness are 'real' in the world of ideas but cannot exist in the world of scientific empiricism.

If a hypothetical inhuman scientist were to cut out my heart, he would probably pronounce that it weighs about 150 grams. He would conclude that I have erred in the statement describing my sadness.

Screw science.

Windows and Life

For this blog entry, I shall say that I like Microsoft Windows, in all its incarnations since Windows 95.

I like it because of the way it parallels our human experience. Beyond that abstract connection, the only reason why I use XP is because of the 100 million programmers in the world, 99% of them write programs for Windows. And even though I use the exact same functions found in Microsoft Word 2.0, there is still this irrational lust for new stuff.

And this doesn't just apply to technology, every generation or so and there will be a 'new movement' a 'revolution', a 'paradigmn shift (ugh)' in [please choose from below]

Arts and Literature

Business and economy

Society and culture

Church and God

All that hype and packaging will fly and froth until sufficient people have bandied the overused icons and buzz words that they become stale. And then it is time for the same old brand new whatever.

But the real reason why I say I like Windows is not because it reinvents itself every 3 or 4 years, but that it comes with a neato 'Restart' function.

Windows, like life, was designed to get more boggy the longer you have been at it. Programs that refuse to stop hogging resources even after they have been switched off are like ex-beaus who have been 'terminated but stay resident' in the recesses of your psyche. Opened too many programs and they all run like quadriphlegic snails stuck in molasses? No problem! Banish them messlessly with a touch of the 'Restart' command.

Starting anew or afresh, whether it is in a new job, a new town or a new marraige is a very human way of untying the Gordian Knots of life. I guess this need for new-ness, for reinvention, goes beyond techie toys and church programs.

Sadly, I can not see how one can start with a truly  clean slate simply because one decides to. Short of doing an Eternal Sunshine, we will always carry the scars, the baggage and the influences of our life's experiences, even subconsciously. And like the movie, there is no real advantage in obliterating the experience just to get rid of the pain. Evidencing George Santayana's truism on those who fail to learn from history, the protagonist was doomed to repeat it.

We may not be able to restart our lives Windows-style, but we can ensure that on our [insert number] attempt to sort out the mess in our lives, we will do so with the bitter lessons of experience.